Subtle Ways to Ask a Guy Out

There are many reasons why women feel awkward to ask a guy out. Apart from running contrary to traditional norms of feminity, women fear that the man might be unavailable or uninterested. And yet when you seem to have met the guy of your dreams, it makes little sense to keep waiting for him to take the first step. So if you are a woman and are scared of embarrassing yourself, here are some subtle ways to ask a guy out.

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Couch it in terms of flirtation

Most guys enjoy when women engage is some light-hearted flirting with them. They feel attractive and worthy of attention. Fortunately for women, this kind of harmless fun poses no danger of making them appear nymphomaniacs. Usually everyone understands it is done in good spirit. Use moments of light flirtation to ask whether he would go out with you. For example you might look at him with a mischievous smile and say “I wouldn't think of going out with someone like you ... (laugh) ... Unless you ask ... (a low sexy laugh). Or else say something like “See that good looking woman over there. She already told me she won't go out with you but I know someone who will…” follow this up by brushing up closer to him or touching him innocently. This way you will not appear to have thrown yourself at him but at the same time, he will have got the message.



Use humor

You can just as easily use humor to get across your invitation. Just as women look for men with a sense of humor, so men too enjoy the company of women who make them laugh. This works especially well if you and the guy share the same tastes in humor. For instance you could begin by saying, “You're too good looking for me. I only date short, fat, ugly, and bald men…” when the guy makes a mock incredulous face, follow up by saying “OK…Let me prove it to you. Ask me out on a date and I’ll reject you”. Then smile and look up questioningly at him. However when you use either flirtation or humor to ask a guy out and he accepts, always confirm quickly with the date, time and place. Once the guy a senses that you are not serious yourself, he will quickly wriggle out of his commitment.

Ask him for a favor

One of the best ways of asking a guy out without making it obvious is to enlist his help with something that belongs to you. If a man is interested in you, he will surely agree to do you a favor. For instance think of something that this guy is good at. If it is computers, mention how you are having a problem with the antivirus in your home PC and would he take a look at it. Alternately if he is good with gadgets, let him know that even after two months of buying the state-of-art home theatre system, you haven’t been able to figure it out and would be mind going over the various functions with you. However this tactic is best used in case of men you know well and trust them enough to allow them access to your home. In case you want to catch the attention of a relative stranger, you could use the same strategy with a few modifications; for instance instead of inviting the guy home to look up your car or DVD player, carry an small personal item in your purse that is broken but easy to fix on the spot like maybe a cell phone or your personal organizer. Of course the way to thank him for fixing your problem is to treat him for happy hour or dinner at your favorite diner. Make it a date but don't call it that. Afterwards you could indicate what a good time you had and suggest a second meeting.

Suggest a friendly outing

If you happen to know the guy’s interests, you could arrange an outing based on the hobby and then invite him in a matter of fact way – all of course without calling it a date. And if you too share his interests, so much the better. Start by working up his enthusiasm for your mutual interest and mention an upcoming event related to it. Then the next day tell the guy you have two tickets to a concert/game/book-launch. Mention that your girlfriend you were planning to go with initially has changed her mind and now you have two tickets and no one to accompany you. Since you don't want to go alone or waste these tickets, ask if he would be willing to come along.

Invite a man into your personal space without calling it a date

This tactic works best when you are already enjoying a great equation with a guy – for instance you both could be avid readers and have the same favorite authors. Or you could be having a great conversation on current political events and share the same opinions. Once you realize that you have struck a rapport with the guy, say something like 'you know, I need to get going right now, but I want to continue this conversation. You're such an interesting person. I like going to the coffee shop down the street. Usually I go with friends but sometimes I go alone. Would you like to meet me there tomorrow evening?’ This will keep the meeting from appearing like a date but at the same time allow you both to enjoy each other’s company for a longer time.

Don’t ask before others

Avoid asking a guy out when he is in a group. When among his friends, he is likely to feel pressured to say no, even if it is just to look and sound ‘cool’. Rather wait for a moment when he is alone and then walk up to him, say a friendly hi and strike up a casual conversation. Most guys when available are open to going out with interesting women. However if he says no, don’t hold a grudge and move on. In the end it is far better to take a chance at love rather than be left wondering at what might have happened and feeling stupid at being too scared to find out.