When Your Boyfriend is Addicted to World of Warcraft

So what do you do when your boyfriend seems to spend more time as his elven alter-ego than as an earthly human being? This is a dilemma that faces more young ladies today than ever before. The onslaught of tremendously popular massively multiplayer online games, most notably World of Warcraft, has captured the minds of millions of guys across the globe.

One of the first things you need to consider as a girl with a spell casting dragondwarf as a boyfriend, is that of all the pastimes a youth can choose these days, of all the things that can make one ephemerally happy, with or without the inclusion of normalcy and reality, videogames are just not that bad. Look at it this way: would you rather your guy be a raging alcoholic, a sex addict, a chain smoker, a drug user, a workout buff, a music fanatic, a cutter, or an avid gamer? Of all these widely used and overused endorphin pumpers gaming certainly seems to be in the healthier bundle. The fact is that many young men, whether or not they make it obvious in their day to day social lives, like to have something to go to that takes them away from the mundane. Sometimes it's best for you to take a step back and give him some room to just do what he would choose to do if he wasn't lucky enough to have you. So while the alcoholic would hit the bottle and the sex addict would parade for a new conquest, your boy trots on down to the armory to get his rapier upgraded. In turn, chances are he's probably not going to get on your case for watching Gossip Girl religiously each week, or reading your Seventeen magazine, or whatever else you like to do in your downtime. This type of space and trust will make the time you do spend together that much more meaningful. As with everything though, there is a line to be drawn.

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Giving your boyfriend his own time for his own favorite activities, particularly when those activities are as harmless as playing World of Warcraft, is great; but when he starts blowing you off to make his own time for his own things, the problems begin. It's becoming less and less unusual to see these increasingly beautiful, well designed, and undeniably enjoyable games take enthusiasts and transform them into all out hopeless addicts. This phenomenon is not limited just to the enormously loved and hated World of Warcraft.. Second Life, Halo, and Runescape are a few of the many games which have been known to hold their user's mind's wholly captive from the actuality that lies beyond the screen. Rest assured that more such games will be created in the future as well, as there appears to be an unshakable and still growing market.

In order for any relationship to stand strong, there needs to be effort put forth by both sides to continuously build and maintain the bond. When one member of the once happy duo is opting against putting forth this effort, there's nothing in the world the other can do to compensate. Something has to give; either the stagnating half of the pair or the relationship. If you feel that your boyfriend's addiction to the fantasy realm of gaming has brought your relationship to this point, it's time to have a serious talk. Don't try to do this over the phone or on an instant messenger; face to face is the only way to go about it.

First, let him know how you feel about him and how important he is to you. When dealing with someone who often lets himself become genuinely enveloped in a make believe existence, it's good to keep him aware of what he's missing out on when he's not in the real world. Nagging a hole into your guy's ear everyday is a perfect way to send him right back to his magi brethren, who may try to destroy him, but will certainly not preach at him about his gaming addiction. As you ease into this conversation, try giving him a little mini-massage for no reason; again a sensation unattainable through the computer monitor. A good way to break the ice, and maybe uncover some issues at the same time, is to ask "Why do you like World of Warcraft so much?". Don't undertone this question with your ulterior motives; be genuinely interested, or at least seem to be. This can be a loaded question for your guy to answer. If he tries to dodge the bullet with an "I don't know, it's just fun" jump right back with "Well what makes it more fun than other games?". Being an authentic World of Warcraft enthusiast, he's gonna have to come up with an answer to that one, or he'd be letting his entire wizard clan down. Listen closely to what he says. The things that make this anti world so enjoyable for your boyfriend are the very things you need to target when trying to make him change his actions. If it's a matter of the adrenaline rush he gets when he completes a tough mission or defeats a difficult opponent, remind him of how hard you can get his heart beating in other ways. If it's the social interactions with like minded people that endear him to the game, let him know how much you love talking to him and how funny and amazing his personality is. This could help him recall, perhaps from the elementary school days when he liked girls but acted like he didn't, that to impress a beautiful real life chick with his swagger is far more rewarding than using that same charisma to befriend a high level mega-nerd on World of Warcraft. If he says he just needs to get away from it all, ask him what it is specifically about reality that he has to get away from so very often, and support him in whatever his answer is. Make him believe that when things aren't great you're always there to make them better.

In the unfortunate event that nothing you say or do can separate your boyfriend from his infatuation, an ultimatum has to be put forth. You simply tell him that if he doesn't stop playing World of Warcraft then you're going to break off the relationship. If, given these two options, he chooses to just let the relationship die, then you've clearly made the right decision in forcing him to choose; trade in that geek for the much cooler music guy or the much stronger workout buff. If, on the other hand, he chooses to give up the game he loves for the girl he loves, then congratulations. Don't be too crazy about making sure he never sneaks an hour or two of playtime though; as long as he's spending time with you again, that's what matters.