How to Give Your Partner a Massage - Tips and Advice


A massage is usually given to bring about a calm and relaxed feeling, both in the body and mind. However where a partner is concerned, a massage can also become an enjoyable part of foreplay or even a non-sexual form of intimacy. Here are a few tips on how to give your partner a massage and have him/her asking for more.


Create the right ambience

A massage should induce a feeling of calm and restfulness in the subject. For this it is necessary to soothe the other senses as well. Bright lights or loud music are a strict no-no. Rather go for muted lighting with candles or lamps and let some soft music play in the background. For a luxuriant look, you can have rose petals strewn around or aromatic candles lighted at certain places. However the scent should not be too strong or it will clash with the aroma of the massage oils.

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Control the temperature

An essential part of the right atmosphere is regulating the temperature. If the room is too hot or cold, it will be uncomfortable for both you and your partner and neither of you will be to enjoy the experience. Depending on the oil and technique, a massage can either have a cooling or heating effect on the subject’s body, so have adequate facilities for regulating the room temperature before you begin.

Privacy is important

To give your partner a massage, choose a time when you know you are not going to be disturbed. Keep your cell phones and Blackberrys away since it is important to disconnect yourself completely from the world if the massage is going to work. Also decide on a place where you can be sure of your privacy and will not have peeping toms or kids to worry about.

Prepare yourself

In order to make the massage enjoyable for your partner, it is necessary that you are mentally and physically prepared as well. Don’t plan it on day when you are tired or unwell since process of giving a massage demands some amount of physical exercise. Take your mind off pending projects at work or things to do around the house. Cut your nails and make time for a relaxing bath so that both your senses and mind are restful and prepared to give undivided attention to your partner.

Set the scene

While specific requirements vary, the ideal base for a massage is a hard, even surface like the floor. The bed or the couch are usually avoided because the softness of the mattress sometimes hinders the efficacy of the massage strokes. If using the floor, make sure that the base is covered by a rug or a thin blanket so that the surface does not feel too hard for your partner. You can help your partner to get out of his/her clothes as an intimate precursor or keep a robe handy for him/her to change into. Have your partner lie on the stomach and once he/she is comfortable, use a sheet to cover the body.

Decide on the effect

Massages can be used both to relax and awaken the senses. If you are planning the massage as part of a sexual experience, decide on a massage which will entice your partner’s senses and provide the right stimulus for sexual arousal. Some essential oils which are believed to excite the senses are peppermint and orange. On the other hand, if you want to create a relaxing effect, you could go for lavender or patchouli essences. When using an essential oil, remember to add only a few drops to a base oil like almond or olive oil. Some people can have an allergic reaction to essential oils so it is a good idea to know what you are doing. Alternative to massage oils are lotions and light moisturizers which also act as a lubricating medium on the body.

Getting down to it

Different kinds of massage forms like Ayurvedic, Chinese, and Swedish have their own techniques and conditions. However the basic idea is to use your fingers or the base of your palms and varying degrees of pressure to loosen the tension in the muscles. This induces the muscles to relax, heightens the senses and makes both the body and mind more receptive of external stimuli.
You could start with your partner’s head and face since once you have applied oil on your hands, your touch could feel gross on those regions. Sit cross-legged behind your partner’s head, facing his/her feet. With your finger tips, start from the center of the forehead and stroke outwards to the temples. Use the same centre-to-out direction from the nose as well. When massaging the head, you could lightly tug at the roots of the hair but be guided by how much pressure your partner can tolerate.
To massage your partner’s back have him/her lie facing down. Lubricate your hands with an oil or lotion and then use your thumbs to knead the muscles in the neck and upper back. Take each shoulder and go down to the arm with a twisting motion. Use your fingertips to massage the hand and finish with a firm press on each fingertip. Do the same for the other hand.
On the lower back, use the base of your palms for long smooth strokes but be careful to avoid the spine. The buttocks and the back of the legs can withstand some amount of pressure but if you are doing it on a woman, make sure it is not too much.
Have your partner turn over now so that he/she is facing up. Use wide circular motions to massage the shoulders and keep going down in case of a male partner. However a woman may not be comfortable with you working on her breasts so be guided by her wishes here. Keep the touch light on the abdomen but a firmer one when massaging the side of the hips and the thighs. You will encounter a series of erogenous zones here and it is up to you both to decide to go on with the massage or indulge in some intimate teasing. Finish off with a circular kneading of the heels, long finger strokes on the feet and some playful biting on the toes.

While some massage forms can be quite specific on the correct techniques and positions to be followed, in an intimate setting your partner’s wishes and comfort hold greater relevance. So create the right ambience, invite your partner over and give yourselves unto a most amazing experience.