How to Transform a Dull and Boring Sex Life - For Women


Even the most passionate of relationships can eventually suffer from the ill effects of dead routine and the flame that glowed so warmly in the first few weeks of your relationship now may seem to be fading away. This is an extremely delicate juncture - It can either go the way of sexual indifference when you and your man start drifting away from each other in search of newer interests or it can offer a brief period of lull eventually bringing back you and your guy into each other’s arms. Here are then some tips with which you can avoid bedroom boredom and spice up your sex life.

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Spruce yourself up

Very often the grind of daily living and working takes up so much of your energy and time that you no longer feel attractive about yourself. Feeling desirable is an important requirement to a fulfilling sex life which is why you may need to set apart some time to pamper yourself. Go for a new and attractive personal style, if need be; pay more attention to your wardrobe and appearance. Also make sure that you work out regularly and have a healthy diet. Healthy lifestyle habits will not only lead to a fitter and more irresistible you but will benefit your own health in the long run – lover or no lover. Above all, be comfortable with your body – fretting about your weight, skin and hair is not only unattractive to a guy but will make you too anxious to enjoy sex. Once you are able to love yourself, others will pick on that energy and be attracted to you as well – in all making for an awesome night.

Be open to love

Spicing up a boring sex life is best begun outside the bedroom. Try and be romantic with your man but in his way. Remember that romance means different things to different people. While you may flip for candlelight dinners and soft music, your partner’s idea of a romantic night out may be cozying up under a blanket of stars before a crackling campfire or watching romantic comedies together. So be understanding of your man’s preferences and explore romantic ideas accordingly. If you are too rigid in your ideas of what is romantic and what is not, you might be killing the mood even before doing anything. Who knows you may even find yourself liking something you had never thought possible before.

Then again don’t assume that you have to be “in the mood” to be able to initiate or enjoy sex. Time was when you only had to exchange significant looks with your partner to get physically aroused or at least in an exciting frame of mind. But now with deadlines at work and dinner to prepare, your mind or your body may not always be so receptive to subtle signals. Instead be open to intimacy with your partner whenever the opportunity arises and let your physical arousal be part of the process. Let your mind work with your body and focus on your partner. Don't worry about whether or not everything is working "down under". It will. Just relax and enjoy everything going on. Become one with your spouse during this time.

Flirt with him

One of the best ways to set the scene for nighttime fireworks is to make your partner feel a desirable man and not simply someone you share an apartment or the kids with. Heighten the anticipation by sending your man an out-of-the-blue e-mail during the workday. Tell him how much you desire him and what you'll do to him the minute he comes home. In the middle of the day, send your guy a naughty text – ‘like don’t work too hard –you’ll need your energy for later tonite’ - to get him psyched to see you in bed. when you are together, go on to play the flirting game using your eyes, smile and various gestures like the casual brush of your hand against his thighs or shoulders. It’s no secret that guys get off on sexy visuals. But teasing him with a personal peep show can be hotter than simply baring it all. So try strutting around in just your bra and panties when are doing something mundane like brushing your teeth or folding the towels, whatever. On the evening concerned, Put on a romantic song, dance with your bodies touching one another and then go on to some seductive moves, may be involving chocolate fondue or a feather duster. Take your time and explore each other. The whole idea is to make each other feel desired and draw out the seduction game so that eventually the actual love-making explodes in a shower of sparks.

Set the scene

Setting the scene for intimacy is one of the most effective ways of spicing up what is to come. Light perfumed candles and put on some slow music that you love. Put the champagne to chill and keep some chocolate fondue, whipped cream or luscious strawberries handy so that your love-making is yummier. If you have kids, arrange for them to stay over at relative’s or trusted friend’s place. This way the right ambience is sure to transform a hurried quickie into a long sensual experience.
A foolproof method to keep the spark alive in your sex life is to seek out the new. Instead of waiting for something different to happen to you, why not take your spouse and go ahead on an adventure of sorts? It could be as simple as wearing red and black satin if you have stuck to white lacy nightwear till now. Whether it be toys, gels, or whatever your turn-ons, experiment with something new. Bring out a sexy board game or dice and play for erotic favors. Better still, try out a new position - Getting busy against a wall brings out an intense gotta-have-you-now thrill.

Change the venue

At times something as simple as changing the venue can take your love-making to a whole new dimension. Try out a long sensuous session with your spouse in the bath if the bed has been your usual lovemaking area. If you feel body conscious, then light a couple of candles and flip off the switch. When the kids are in bed, go to the laundry room, the kitchen, the car - It doesn't matter, just somewhere different will put some of the thrill back into sex.

Let him know

For a fiery sex life, try and share your sensations with your partner - If you don't tell him, and show him, he will just keep it up and you will get nothing out of it. You can clue in your man by praising his sexual performance. For example, compliment him on what he does well, then add a subtle suggestion like, "It turns me on so much when you touch my thighs." not only will he be thrilled to find you actively involved in the love-making but you will benefit by some very pleasurable moves.

Act out a fantasy

If you know what your boyfriend fantasizes about in bed, you could try acting it or just a part of it out. Then again you can express your fantasies and invite him to take part in them. Of course, this holds good only if you are comfortable doing what he desires. Otherwise read up on unusual but fun ways of making love and go all out to surprise him. Make innovative use of melted chocolate, silk scarves and stuffed cushions and he won’t know what hit him! Alternately put up a strip show for your beloved and watch them drop their jaws and perhaps much more!