The perfect relationship is based on mutual trust and faith and so in an ideal world, you would not need to take any measures at all to keep your guying from straying. But in these times of cell-phone sexting and 24/7 online porn, a little preventive medicine may be just the thing your relationship needs. So here are a few tips on how to keep your man where he belongs – with you.
TIP: Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.
Make him feel special
One of the most common things which drive men to cheat on their partners is the feeling of being taken for granted. Now that you are officially a couple or perhaps married, you no longer feel the need to indulge your man every now and then with loving words and gestures. Worse still, you are no longer as attentive to his needs for sexual intimacy, hassled and overworked as you may be while juggling a home and career. And yet it is important to realize that small acts of love and intimacy are the very sustenance that your man’s love feeds on. Baking his favorite dessert, giving him a relaxing neck rub or even playing out his private fantasy one weekend are all ways that will tell him how much he is loved and cherished in this relationship which is why he will have no need of looking elsewhere.
Let him know you look up to him
A super-sized ego may be an irritating fact about the male personality but there it is and you cannot simply wish it away. While in the beginning of a relationship, you willingly asked for your partner’s help on various matters and he was only too happy to oblige, over time you may have not only stopped looking to your man for practical advice but on occasions even been a tad dismissive of offered help. This goes deep into the male psyche since one of the thing that most hurts a man is the realization that his partner no longer respects or looks up to him. Whether or not it should, the male ego is in constant need of affirmation and if your man does not get it from you, he will gravitate to where he can get it. So be a little more appreciative of his efforts to fix the kitchen faucet or install the ant-virus in your laptop, no matter what the end result. Above all treat him with respect, especially in the presence of his family and friends and he is likelier to be true to you.
One of the best ways to affair-proof a relationship is to keep communicating with each other. Lack of effective communication may not only keep a troubling issue from being resolved but may also make partners more likely to seek meaningful interaction outside the relationship. So talk about your day to your partner – about your feelings, likes and dislikes as well as your hopes for the future. After you finish don’t forget to invite your partner to do the same and when he does so, be quiet and actually listen.
Learn how to fight right
All couples have fights now and then – it is an inevitable part of a free and equal relationship. Only those where one partner completely controls the other will be devoid of any argument or disagreement. However in order to express your differences creatively, learn how to fight fair. Let your disagreements be about issues and not about perceptions and emotions. For example if you are reluctant to spend money on an expensive purchase, point out that the money could be saved for future use or invested to increase earnings. Don’t use the issue to blame your man of being ‘reckless’ or ‘irresponsible’. Also, always refrain from personal insults, disrespectful remarks about your partner’s family and physical violence. Arguments can act as safety valves in a relationship, letting off steam on simmering issues which can otherwise destroy the partnership. But in order to prevent your fights from becoming excuses to seek comfort in another person, learn to fight according to certain rules and keep it fair.
Do something enjoyable together
One of the primary attractions of an extra-marital affair is that it lets a person forget, however momentarily, the responsibilities of being a partner and perhaps a parent. In an affair, a person can go back to being carefree and unconcerned about the pending files at work or the dishes in the kitchen sink. If you can introduce moments of fun and a joyous freedom into your relationship, there would be no reason to look outside. So make it a point to spring silly surprises for your partner every now and then; have regular ‘date nights’ if you are been married for some time and find it difficult to spend quality time at home with kids and chores. Go to the zoo or the amusement park or just share a joke at the end of the day and have a good laugh.
Cultivate healthy friendships
No matter how close two people are in a relationship, it is extremely unlikely for them to share every interest in exactly the same way. So while you both may be fitness freaks, you may prefer hitting the gym whereas your partner may be more comfortable jogging in the outdoors. Again it is more common for women to browse through malls, window-shopping to their heart’s content while guys would rather watch football at home or in a pub. Since no single person can satisfy all your interests, it makes sense to have safe friends with whom you can do the things you like doing. So, encourage your man to go fishing or golfing with other guys while you check out that new boutique in the company of your BFF.
Be around happy couples
Recent research suggests that divorce, like flu, can also be catching. So if your partner is perpetually hanging around with disgruntled divorcees or men and women who think nothing of cheating on their partners, he is more likely to believe and perhaps do the same himself. On the other hand, being around committed partners will make your man more aware of the practical benefits as well as the emotional satisfaction of staying together and thus less likely to stray into an affair.