It takes two to tango, goes a popular saying and likewise to have a healthy relationship. However sometimes it is not about a joint effort at all – it may just happen that one of the partners has personality issues which makes him/her simply incapable of being faithful. Here are five personality problems you need to watch out for before looking for a committed relationship.$INFIDELITY-OPTIN2$
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Like the Greek mythological character Narcissus who was so enamored of his own reflection that he rejected the love of a nymph, Echo and was drowned in the river, a person suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder has eyes for no one except himself/herself. Such people see themselves as perfect, as the right recipient of unconditional, unending love. Thus while they need a partner to supply this sort of unqualified admiration, they are incapable of giving anything back to the relationship. The deeper the compulsion of self-love, the higher the likelihood of them looking elsewhere to fulfill such needs. As a result men and women suffering from this kind of personality disorder are extremely likely to be serial cheaters. While they may seek out a new partner driven by their need for constant adulation, the thrill wears off very quickly and soon they are on their way to seek newer sources of admiration.
TIP: Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.
A sociopath is someone who suffers from an antisocial personality disorder. Such a person does not feel love, empathy or affection for others and all relationships that they enter into are usually for the sole purpose of feeding their own ego. It is difficult to spot a sociopath upon mere acquaintance. Sociopaths are usually brimming with personal charm and charisma and in the initial stages of dating, they can be extremely attentive and indulgent towards a partner. It is only later that the lies, the egotism, the constant veering between extreme moods emerge and make a relationship unbearable. A sociopath tends towards infidelity since they have no sense of morality, much less empathy and love for fellow humans; thus they will show no remorse, shame or guilt for any hurt that they inflict upon and when they have fed their ego on a partner, move on to another victim.
The moody personality
On the face of it, being moody and anxious may not seem the kind of personality that will attract enough partners to facilitate a string of affairs. However the main trait of this kind of dysfunctional family lies in extreme variation of moods – one moment this person may be happy and sociable while the next he/she may become angry and abusive. Such people usually have serious abandonment issues – they are intensely scared of being left alone, of being discarded by loved ones and this fear – no matter how irrational to an outsider – drives all their thoughts and actions. Thus people with moody unstable personality need partners who can put with constantly and dramatically changing emotions, unreasonable anger and fears of abandonment. Since such demands cannot be met by a healthy partner for long, this kind of dysfunctional personality is driven to look elsewhere where his/her needs can be met.
The Borderline Personality
Though sharing some symptoms of the moody personality, a Borderline Personality Disorder is a specific type of dysfunctional personality marked by a splitting reflex – in other words someone suffering from BPD can be immensely charming and seductive one day but display intense anger and hatred the next. BPD can be usually traced back to arrested emotional growth, which renders a person incapable of impulse control, adult reasoning, ability to self-soothe and capacity for empathy. In relationships, a BPD will display irrational jealousy, physical volatility and abusive or cruel/diminishing interactions. For such people ‘love’ is understood not as a positive, healthy give-and-take but with feelings of yearning and striving. Thus people with BPD are driven to chase partners who are emotionally or physically unavailable like being or married/attached – so that this yearning can be kept intact and they are incapable of embracing a partner who's able to provide love on a consistent basis. This is also the reason why when their need for yearning is satisfied – as when a partner would leave a marriage to be with a BPD man or woman – they no longer feel the same attachment as before and are compelled to look for yet another target for unavailable ‘love’. This makes people with BPD seek one affair after another and incapable of remaining in a committed relationship.
This is a person whose whole life revolves around the need for sexual release. Like other forms of behavioral addiction – gambling and overeating – sex addiction is marked by certain traits like compulsion or an inability to choose freely whether to stop or to continue, continuation of the behavior despite adverse consequences such as loss of health, job, marriage or freedom as well an obvious obsession with the activity. In case of sex addicts specifically, the symptoms take the form of involvement with prostitution, viewing of pornographic material whether online, electronic or printed matter as well as an inability to remain committed to a primary partner. Even though the addiction is not fuelled by any chemical like alcohol or drug, experts have found that sex addicts are actually affected by changes in their neurochemistry as they think about sex and this continues throughout the process. The body’s release of adrenaline, dopamine, endorphin and serotonin provides the addict with the ‘high’ that is the equivalent of the drug/alcohol in case of chemical addiction. When a sexual experience ends, they are likely to feel anxiety and craving for the next sexual encounter and because of this ongoing need, sex addicts tend to have serial affairs. When they are not having sex, they are fantasizing about it, thinking of how to get their next sexual encounter or viewing pornographic material – in other words compulsions which make commitment in a relationship well nigh impossible.
The above personality disorders lead to infidelity since people suffering from them are incapable of making an emotional connection with a primary partner. They are difficult to live with on a daily basis and may even tend to verbal and physical abuse – in all conditions which are far from harmonious for a meaningful committed relationship.