When your partner two-times you, it is one of the most painful experiences that you suffer. When one partner is unfaithful it leaves the other shattered and wondering what to do next - whether to end the relationship acrimoniously or salvage it or part as friends.
Dealing with a cheating girlfriend requires a great deal of effort on your part. How do you let go of the past? How do you deal with the reality of any problem in your relationship that must have driven her to seek succor elsewhere? Once the affair is out in the open - either you found out or she comes clean - how do you resolve the issue? Can you bring yourself to forgive your partner and can you manage to let go? It is not an easy thing to forget and you have to deal with the problem of being haunted by it forever.
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In a situation in which your partner has irrevocably lost your trust, it is best to make a clean break and end the relationship. Otherwise you will live haunted by the memory of the two-timing, which will never let you love her completely again. The two of you will have an uncomfortable relationship, constantly worried about each other’s fidelity.
But sometimes, despite the heartbreak that your girlfriend has caused you, both of you may still have strong and deep feelings for each other. You may be willing to forget the wrongdoing and accept the apologies of a repentant partner. If you are lucky, then both can work extra hard at salvaging your relationship, but this situation is really difficult and rare.
Next, discuss with her why she felt the need to stray. An open and honest discussion will throw light on any problems in your relationship. These can be mended and healed and you can start afresh. But beware that such a discussion must not affect your self-esteem in a negative manner.
The next discussion must be to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship. You must acknowledge problem areas which require repair. Stop letting the past haunt your future. Ideate on positive contributions to improve your relationship.
Next, set limits on a repetition of the behavior by your partner. You must ask her to put an end to two-timing once and for all or threaten that you will walk away for good. You must set non-negotiable boundaries so that the new relationship survives.
Both have to completely honest and open with each other. You must acknowledge that you are consciously working at giving your relationship a fresh lease of life. It requires hard work, some forgiveness, some patience and lots of trust in each other.
But there is a scenario in which your girlfriend has done the unthinkable - dumped you! Thrown your relationship out of the window. In this case, don’t even dream of trying to get back together - she is not worth your love and attention. It is a heart-breaking situation and you need to take care of yourself to get over it.
First seek comfort elsewhere - it is not very manly, but it does you a world of good if you seek the company and comfort of any other female friends. Women enjoy talking about relationships and you can share thoughts about your break-up, throwing light on what really went wrong. Talking to people will help you come to terms with what you feel and comfort you that there are some who care for you. Some even seek the comfort of online friends. They have plenty of good advice and really rally to support you through your crisis.
Some old fashioned advice from ‘Aunty Mary’s Purge and Pamper Method’ to get over the crisis:
1) Get a haircut, a really good one at the best saloon you can afford.
2) Spring clean your house - throw out relics of the past, anything which reminds you of your ex, or if you don’t want to throw it out put it in deep storage.
3) If you have any gadget that’s broken or needs repair, fix it, throw it or sell it.
4) Buy some nice flowers and put them in a nice place in your room.
5) Cry it out - Give vent to your misery by shedding your tears over a nice soft pillow and voila, you feel much better!
6) Write a love note to your ex and burn it with glee!
Parting in peace is really difficult to do. Especially if you have been dumped, it is difficult to carry on a normal conversation with your ex. The best thing is to lose touch for a few months till you have recovered well. Maintaining cordiality depends a lot on the way you broke up. If it was in a decent fashion, then you can still be friends.
Give yourself sufficient time to heal and start over again. Don’t be afraid that history might repeat itself. In fact you are better prepared with your experience behind you. It is time to bid goodbye to it and time to move on.