Will you ever be able to get that girl or is it time to cut your losses?


You really liked this girl and you thought that there could be no other. You went out of your way to seek her out and did all you could to capture her attention. You’ve even gone so far as to try a makeover and charm all her friends and acquaintances in the hope that it would make a difference. But somehow, nothing seems to work. The harder you try the more distant she seems. You just can’t seem to get through to her. She doesn’t even notice you exist, or if she does, it’s like she wished she hadn’t.

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You’re at your wit's end. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’re trying too hard? If it seems like she’s not interested in giving you the time of day, hanging around her any longer will only serve to demoralize you further. It’s probably time you did yourself a favor (and her too) and got out of the picture. Pinning your hopes on a dream, that will never come to fruition, is pointless.

But just in case you’re in doubt and are a ‘Never say die’ kind of guy, take a few pointers. You’ll know it's time for you to cut your losses if she…

Acts like Cleopatra

And treats you like her personal slave. Just because she knows you’re a sucker for her she takes advantage of it and expects you to do her bidding. And you’re so eager to please that you don’t even realize how pitiful it makes you look - you’d do anything to make her happy. However, if you need something from her, like some time alone, she’s always got something going on or is too busy. Buddy, she’s using you so get out!

Looks down her nose at you

If she acts condescending towards you and implies that you should be grateful for the little crumbs of attention she throws your way, this is definitely not a relationship between equals. Don’t make the mistake of acting like a groupie and be more than content that she just about tolerates your presence. You’re making a huge mistake if you think that the more you hang around her, the more the chances that she’ll eventually get to like you. Or have you forgotten that old adage ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’?

Mocks you

Or worse yet, if she snubs you in front of her friends. Or makes you the butt of her jokes and embarrasses you by treating you like you’re part of the furniture. If she’s heaping insult on injury and you’re still hanging around, you’ve either got it really bad or you’re ready to be certified insane – insanely in love with her, probably!

Is a class apart

You’ve fallen for her because she’s popular, attractive, intelligent, talented, etc. But have you ever thought about it…she might also be unavailable to you for precisely those reasons. You’re just in over your head. She may simply be out of your league. She’s got tons of guys chasing her and you’re just another one in the crowd.

Separate yourself from the crowd by distancing yourself and ignoring her for a change. Or if you can’t bring yourself to cutting yourself off so abruptly, stop paying attention to her for a change. You may be surprised to discover that your distance has made her realize how much she misses you and your attention, and she may even come after you.

But don’t get your hopes up that she might. If she doesn’t come after you, give up.

You have to face it – she is probably just not interested in you. And that doesn’t make you any less of a person, nor does it detract in any way from your appeal. It simply means that this is not the girl for you. If you’re having difficulty getting over her and moving on…

Try putting some space between her and you. Go on a holiday, take off camping with friends, do something fun and enjoyable to get your mind off her. Put some distance between the two of you in a neutral environment, away from her.

Observe her closely, preferably in as realistic a manner as possible, without any blinkers on, and instead of focusing on all that you adore about her, see the big picture. You will, in all probability, discover some pretty disgusting things. Either that she’s attention-seeking, or spoilt and self-centered or willful and stubborn, or has a few terrible habits like belittling people and indulging in malicious gossip. How could you be in love with someone who is probably beautiful on the outside but is completely the opposite on the inside?

Go out and make new friends, meet other girls. You might find someone you really like, and more importantly, someone who reciprocates your feelings. While rebound relationships aren’t the best remedies, you can’t really say you had a relationship with someone who treated you so badly and walked all over you.