As humans are integrated beings, everything in your life affects everything else. Your work and love life too share a reciprocal relationship, no matter how much you try to keep them apart. Just like an unhappy relationship is likely to affect your productivity at work, similarly a high-pressure job is likely to affect your love life adversely. And one of the most noticeable signs of the latter is when you begin to put off making love. If you believe that your relationship is veering dangerously down this path, here are a few ways to bring about a better balance in your professional and personal lives and find more opportunities to get intimate.
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Decide what works best for you
In order to achieve the right balance between your career and love life, you first need to decide what this means for you and your partner. Different combinations work for different couples and what might suit your best friend need not be the ideal equation for you. So sit down and talk with your partner about how often you both would like to make love in order to feel fulfilled in your relationship. an honest chat is important primarily because sex drives differ from one person to another and while you may feel that having sex once a fortnight or every ten days is perfectly fine with you, it might seem too less or too frequent for your partner. So instead of fuming silently at being rebuffed yet again or trying to fend off advances with as much politeness as you can, it is best to arrive at a consensus on how often you would like to get intimate with each other.
Schedule time for love
Now that you have decided how often you would like to make love to each other, set aside a date and time for intimacy on a regular basis. Having to schedule love-making in your day’s to-do list might appear to take away all the magic of the experience, but when you both are so busy with your respective jobs, waiting for sex to happen spontaneously and is like waiting for kingdom come. There is always one more correction to make in a presentation or just one more phone call to attend - It is never the right time. So instead of leaving your love life to the mercy of your boss and co-workers, take the initiative to find some us-time together. Think of it as this way – you don’t wait for an important meeting at work to happen by itself so why treat your love life with such carelessness when it is so much more important to your emotional well-being.
A little bit of planning ahead can make all the difference between effective multi-tasking and a mad race against time. So it’s your partner’s birthday next week and you want to lavish some exclusive loving on him/her. This is the best time to organize your appointments and schedule so that you don’t keep a client meeting that day or even an out-station trip the day before. Moreover it will save you a great deal of last-minute scramble for cards, flowers and gifts if you shop for them in advance and keep only the cake perhaps to order on the day before. Get into the habit of making lists and invest in a good personal organizer where you can mark dates, romance nights and your partner’s favorite dessert night. This, rather than excessive dependence on a secretary can go a long way in bringing about a better balance between a busy career and a healthy relationship.
While the habit of planning ahead can prove invaluable while juggling a career and relationship, keep in mind that even the most carefully laid out plans can go awry. While you are looking forward to a cozy movie night with your partner, your boss suddenly decides to call everyone for a conference at the end of the day. at such situations, there is little that you can do except for call up your partner, being honest about what has come up and reassuring him/her that you will think of something else to make it up to them. However avoid making any rash promises at this time since when required to make it good, you may realize that you have neither the time nor energy to make any extra effort. Understand what is reasonable for you to attempt and let go of the things that are not within your control. At the same time be flexible enough to steal moments of intimacy with your partner – a quickie early in the morning or an intimate tète-a-tète during a lunch break can work wonders for your love life.
Take time out
However if you find that you or your partner have been putting off dates and romance nights more frequently than ever, try and leave town. A long leisurely vacation would be ideal not only to unwind your own self but to rediscover the wonder of your love. However if it is completely impossible to take off from work for more than a few days, at least get away for a weekend trip together. Just remember not to bring any work along and as far as possible, leave your laptops and Blackberrys behind; in fact just bring your cell phone and that too use it only for emergencies. Ensure that your vacation – no matter how short – is a time to reconnect with your partner and rekindle the fire of intimacy that has been left unattended
for so long.
Be clear about your priorities
However a vacation, no matter how exotic and leisurely, can only help so much. If there is a fundamental disconnect about what you and your partner expect from this relationship, nothing will change once you get back home. So use the time away from work to re-evaluate what you want most of all from life – professional success or a successful relationship. This is not to say that the two are mutually exclusive but that almost every combination will have a slant towards one side. Consider your priorities and decide what makes you happiest – winning accolades at work or spending a leisurely evening with your partner. Sooner or later you will be able to figure out what means most to you and that is the first step towards finding the right balance between your love life and career.