With so many marriages coming apart, it is important to recognize and cherish any positive aspect of your relationship with your spouse. Here are 10 signs which tell you if your marriage is likely to last in the long term.
You can’t wait to come home. The very point of a home and marriage means having someone to come back to at the end of the day. If you look forward to return to your spouse after a grueling day at work, it means your marriage is like a harbor where you can rest and re-energize yourself.
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You have no trouble talking to your partner
If a marriage is to succeed, it is crucial for spouses to be able to communicate with each other. This is much more than asking your partner about his/her day or reminding him/her to pick up the kids from school. It includes having a meaningful exchange of thoughts, feelings, hopes and anxieties which may or may not be directly related to the marriage but is bound to have some impact on the relationship in the long run.
You share the same financial priorities
Money issues are one of the most common reasons for breakups. If you and your spouse think alike on spending and saving, investment and expenses then you are among the lucky few who are financially compatible. This not only makes it easier to run the household and save for emergency costs but also makes vacations and major indulgences much more affordable. In the end you both can live the good life and best of all enjoy its pleasures together.
You give each other space
Together with keeping the channels of communication open, it is also necessary to give each other space in a marriage. In fact, no marriage can cater to all the requirements of a partner – a husband would need buddies to go golfing while a wife would be happier shopping with her pals. Also sometimes a person may just need some time to be on his/her own. If you both can follow individual interests and your own social lives without giving way to distrust and jealousy, it is a sign of a remarkably mature marriage, one which will is likely to last a long time.
You are tuned to each other’s sexual needs
Sex is an important indicator of the health of a marriage. Those marriages where sex is completely absent or where couples are not sexually compatible are more likely to come apart. Even though it is not necessary for you and your spouse to have exactly the same sexual preferences – it would get boring if it does – it is crucial to understand your partner’s sexual needs and be ready to take a step towards fulfilling them.
You go out on ‘dates’
Taking time out from the responsibilities of work and family is crucial if a married couple is to stay together. Once partners get busy raising a family and climbing the professional ladder, planning ‘dates’ and vacations just for the two of them takes a backseat. However if you continue to set aside some time for each other on a regular basis, it will be easier to keep the magic alive. When the kids are young, your ‘dates’ may be as mundane as taking an after-dinner walk in the park or if you have time to spare, they may be more elaborate like a dinner followed by dance at your favorite nightclub. Whatever it is, putting aside an exclusive “us” time goes a long way in keeping the magic alive and makes it less possible to succumb to affairs.
You have mutual interests
One of the best ways to be together in the long run is to share one or two common interests. A mutual love for gardening or music for instance gives couples something to talk about apart from work, kids and relationships – all of which may be capable of triggering off disagreements. Rather a shared hobby would make for a stress-free conversation or even lead to making something new and creative together. In fact you may not even pursue the same interests in exactly the same way – like you and your spouse may be book lovers but while you are swept away by verisimilitude of Victorian novels, your partner may be more partial to science fiction. However just the fact that you make it a point to visit the library on weekends or check out book sales and exhibitions together is good for your marriage.
You fight fair
All marriages have their own share of disagreements. In fact only a relationship that is neither free nor equal would be completely devoid of arguments. The thing however is to fight right and according to certain rules. If you and your partner understand this rather than taking recourse to personal attacks and emotional blackmails, you are more likely to be able to resolve issues through disagreements.
You hang out with other happily married couples
Recent research shows that if you have close friends or siblings who are divorced, your own marriage is more likely to break up than if you have happily married friends. While sociologists may contest the veracity of the research, it is common sense that if you hang out with people who think nothing of cheating on their partners, you will eventually find nothing wrong with the practice yourself. On the other hand, if your social circle mainly consists of long-married happy couples, it may be a positive and stabilizing influence on your own marriage.
Finally you having fun
It is essential to continue with the supposedly silly things that you and your partner did for each other before you got married. Remember tracing letters on his bare back and asking him to guess the words or taking her to the zoo and imitating every animal on your route till she was helpless with laughter and begged you to stop. If you are mature enough to still act a little silly now and then, you and your spouse have a very good chance of making it to your golden wedding anniversary and perhaps beyond that as well.