Being dumped is hard on anybody. You go through phases when you feel like a loser and doubt yourself. Your self-esteem takes a knock and you wonder what you could have done better, how you could have made things right. If he dumped you because he was seeing someone else, you probably feel even worse. It leaves you agonizing over what she has that you haven’t or the relationship they now probably enjoy that you once did.
TIP: Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.
But if you sit back and take a good, hard look, you will realize that all these self-doubts are only causing damage to your already fragile emotional health. Instead of looking at where you went wrong or why things didn’t work out, you need to take a different view. Think instead, of why you are better off without him/her and all the complications which the relationship left you having to deal with.
Give yourself something positive to think about and that would involve reflecting on how the relationship was probably no good for you. Here are some of the top 5 reasons you should be happy that you were dumped.
1. You can heave a sigh of relief
Heaving a sigh of relief can act as a great release of all that was pent up within you. There are many reasons for you to be doing this. And it can offer a powerful feeling of finally being free. You have to think of certain qualities of his that made you extremely uncomfortable while you were dating. If he/she was the jealous type and got edgy every time you so much as looked at or talked to another member of the opposite sex. Or if he was possessive and wanted you to himself all the time. Or wanted to control you and be in charge of the relationship. Or had a foul temper and would fly into fits of rage. Or worse yet, act abusive if things didn’t go his way. And of course the ultimate torture – if he/she was unfaithful and cheated on you. You can be absolutely sure you are better off and can thank your stars you’re no longer in the relationship.
2. You don’t have to tolerate all his irritating habits
You can make a list of all the dumb, exasperating, infuriating or even downright nauseating things he used to do. How lucky for you not to have to watch him pick his nose in public again. Or emit unseemly and impolite noises when in the company of others. And how about all those times he drank too much and started causing scenes in public, which embarrassed the hell out of you. If you can’t come up with enough disgusting traits, you could enlist the help of friends of yours, who didn’t really like him. Indulge in a good session of character bashing and you’ll be amazed at the amount of dirt you dig up. Amanda, a perky collegian, was crestfallen when she was dumped by her boyfriend of six months. Until she was having a heart-to-heart with her girlfriends and discovered something they had been reticent to tell her before. Brad was constantly coming on to them whenever she wasn’t around. She was mortified, but finally realized how she had a lucky escape from that creep she used to call the love of her life!
3. You can find yourself again
This is the time to re-establish your identity. Often in a relationship, we tend to spend so much time exclusively with one another that we lose sight of our real selves. In an effort to please, and keep the other partner happy, you may do things that are really not ‘you’ and neglect taking time out for yourself. Get in touch with your needs again. Very often, in an attempt to be together all the time, you might have spent most of your waking hours either on the phone with each other, or meeting, to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. It could also be stifling if your partner didn’t give you the space you needed and was constantly breathing down your neck. Appreciate this time which you now have to get some much desired ‘me’ time and make the most of it. You might surprise yourself by how much you enjoy it.
4. You can do things he never wanted you to
Now think of all the things he/she stopped you from doing because it didn’t suit their ideas or interests. You could also meet up with friends that you had neglected or that he/she wasn’t keen on. Or enroll in the art class you never had time for earlier because he complained that you were neglecting him. And think of this: If it was torture for you, but you did it for his sake, you don’t have to suffer through another soccer match and wonder what all the fuss was about who won or lost!
5. You can now widen your horizons
And by that we mean, feel free to check out that pert little brunette who’s been giving you the eye. Or go ahead and flirt with that cute guy without feeling guilty about it. Keep it light and have fun. Don’t get involved in anything intense or serious, after all you’re still getting over one relationship gone sour, you don’t want to get in over your head again, do you? The key is to have fun and revel in your freedom once again.