Breaking up without making a mess


Claire was riding high on life and love thanks to the loving relationship she shared with Ben. Ben would always reassure her that this flowery chapter of her life would never end, their relationship was strong enough to withstand the test to time. Sadly today, the reality is quite different. Ben and Claire have broken up. They had spent several months to build their relationship and it took just over a minute to sever all ties. An 'unshakeable bond' had come to an end. There are many people out there who may have gone through a similar situation like Ben and Claire. Breaking a relationship can be very hard. A break up can create a mixture of intense feelings. Feelings of sorrow, disillusionment, anger, depression and in few cases, fear, rejection and guilt.

There are different reasons for a relationship to end. It can be due to the jealous nature of a spouse, misunderstanding, cheating, over possessiveness. But breaking up without creating any hard feelings or without making a mess, is the most prudent thing to do. Yes, your relationship has come to an end due to certain reasons, but it is better to end it cordially rather than blaming each other and creating bad blood between you. Whether it is you or your partner who decides to end the relationship, its tough to break up. The following tips may help you in breaking up without making a mess.

TIP: Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.


The moment either of you or both realize that your relationship is not heading in the right direction, it s time to take quick decisions and action. The more time you spend trying to avoid the inevitable, the more the possibility of bitterness or negativity creeping into your minds. If your relationship has to end, then get over with it instead of procrastinating, for this may not serve any purpose.


Before you end your relationship with your present partner, don’t be in a hurry to find another one. Two-timing your partner will not only make your present partner feel cheated, but your future partner may have a doubt in his/her head: Will you do the same to him/her?

Being open

Whether you are building a relationship or putting an end to it, being honest always helps. Be truthful with your partner, if you are the one who has decided to walk away from your relationship.

Even if you are the first to broach the topic of ending the relationship, allow your partner to have his say. An open discussion and a full explanation from both of you will help in bringing an end to the relationship in a cordial way.

Exhibitionistic attitude

You have decided to end your relationship, but do it behind the four walls of your house, somewhere private, away from the prying eyes and ears of your friends or the public in general. The worst thing you could possibly do is ‘ditch’ him in a public place. Washing your dirty linen in public will be the most embarrassing and humiliating moment for both of you. Choose the right place, seek some privacy to break this news to your partner

Ending a relationship can be extremely difficult and explaining to your partner the reasons for this can be even tougher. If a one-to-one talk with your partner seems an impossibility, then write a letter citing the reasons for the break up. Deliver it in person rather than mailing it. Make sure that you are present after he reads the letter and maybe talk to him or clear his doubts, if any.

A break up may not only hamper your self-esteem it may leave one feeling guilty or cheated. If your are the one who has decided to opt out of the relationship, then there is every chance that your partner may make you feel guilty or treat you like a deserter. He or she may plead with you to stick on to this relationship, but stick to your decision, rather than waiting for things to go wrong again.

Avoid arguments or fights

When a relationship becomes an integral part of your life, seeing it crumble to pieces becomes traumatic. In that moment of dejection, you may often pick up an argument or fight with your partner, with the intention of making him/her feel guilty for taking such a serious step. If a relationship has reached a point where it's almost impossible to take it any further, it's wise to end it in an amicable way rather than bickering over something which no longer holds the charm or the potential to develop.