No matter who is at fault, a breakup usually brings with it feelings of sadness and misery. Worse it may make you feel worthless, especially if the breakup was not initiated by you or you found out that your partner was cheating on you. In such times, you could do with lavishing some heavy duty TLC on your own self which will not only provide a pleasant distraction but may even physically and mentally prepare you to move on. Here are then some great ideas to pamper yourself if you are recovering from a breakup.
TIP: Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.
Book yourself at a spa
If resources are not a problem, one great way to indulge yourself would be spend an entire day – or maybe even a weekend – at a swanky spa or a health resort. These are usually set amidst lovely environs where you can choose to have a Swedish or Thai massage, go for traditional Ayurvedic treatments, pamper your skin or hair with special packs or simply lounge about in the sauna or the swimming pool. Apart from so many options, such resorts also offer a spread of healthy but tasty foods and beverages and if you have booked onto a lavish plan, your taste buds will end up satiated too.
A day at the salon
If lack of time or resources prevents you to spending an entire weekend at a spa, a day at your favorite salon would do just as well. Here you can choose from a variety of ways to pamper yourself; get your skin glowing with customized facials, opt for a hair spa to bring back the shine on your tresses and give your nails a refreshed look with a manicure and pedicure. In popular culture, usually it is only women who are seen indulging themselves at a salon, but these days, even men have woken up to the benefits of professional care to their skin and hair. And indeed the pleasure factor is paramount, in case you are looking for a way to put the breakup away from your mind. According to research, the brain can't tell the difference between emotional pain and physical pain, so by giving your body some TLC – whether at a spa resort or your city salon – you’re also helping to soothe your mood too.
A feast for the taste buds
For foodies though, few things bring as much pleasure as their favourite cuisine. So if you have been holding yourself back for all these days and weeks worrying about putting an extra inch on your waist for fear of becoming unattractive to your partner, now is the time to let go. Look up your favourite restaurant or diner and make reservations at a time when not too many distractions are around. Preferably turn off your laptop, i-Pod and switch your cellphone to silent mode so that nothing distracts you from your culinary experience. Once you are there, order the dishes that you love best but ensure that you stick to three or four option at the most. When you eat, take small bites, chew slowly and savor the taste and texture of your food. This way you will not only optimize the pleasure from your favourite foods but ensure that you don’t end up binge eating.
You can do the same thing with your favourite fine wine; if you have been hoarding a Dom Perignon or single malt Scotch in the hope of opening it on a suitable occasion, let today be the one. Set a pleasurable atmosphere in your home with soft candles and soothing music in the background and then open the much cherished bottle. However let it be no more than one and absolutely refrain from adding on drugs or other any other harmful substance to your drink. Above all, if you find yourself doing this with greater frequency, it may be time to pause and ask whether you are entering addiction territory and are using food or wine to coping with far deeper issues.
Shopping is mostly seen as a feminine activity, something that women do when upset or happy; with friends or alone – basically just about anytime. The truth is that indulging yourself once in a while with a special buy is something that most men do too - in their case though it may have to do with the latest SLR camera in the market or a special edition of golf clubs. It is not for nothing that the whole concept of retail therapy hinges on one main principle – that if you buy this one special product, you will feel a whole lot better. In recent times, there have been a string of new reports1 and surveys suggest that shopping while sad may indeed help ease feelings of negativity or minimize the impact of a looming stressful event. But while it may help you to banish breakup blues by bringing that trendy jacket or luxury handbag home, it is crucial to remember to know where to stop. If you end up maxing your credit card, then any temporary lift you got from purchasing a coveted item would soon be replaced by further anguish on finances.
A far better path to post breakup recovery would be lavish yourself with artistic creations. Instead of buying paintings and objects d’ art, unleash your own creative forces. Try your hand at painting, arranging photographs, sculpting, or drawing. Making art strengthens your sense of self and contributes to feelings of normalcy. Plus, it’s relaxing to focus on being creative — and it’ll help you cope with a breakup by distracting you from your emotions. In fact even knitting, embroidery, gardening, carpentry and other crafts can provide the same mood elevating effects. The basic thing is to create something yourself and the pleasure that you get is sure to make you feel good about yourself – whether or not your ex thinks so.
Soak yourself in music
For those times when you do not feel up to exerting yourself in any way, simply turn on your CD or DVD player and listen to some soft, soothing music. Some choices are classical, easy listening songs or rock ‘n roll – music is one of the best ways to cope with a breakup. It can soothe your soul, and is a lovely gift to give yourself. Faster, major keys cool your brain, which lifts your mood and helps you cope with negative emotions. Slow, healing music can relieve stress and ease emotional pain associated with a breakup.
Finally lavish the gift of spirituality on yourself and you are sure to feel better. Pursuing spirituality within a group like a church or synagogue increases your social support system, coping skills, and self-image. If you’re coping with a breakup, try connecting to God or the universe or simply doing volunteer work. You will not only stop obsessing about your ex and breakup in the face of far more profound thoughts but even feel good about helping others.