Can Men have Multiple Orgasms?
Partners who have been in a relationship for a period of time are already aware that sexual pleasure means different things to men and women. However researchers are now increasingly discovering that apart from the mind, the body in men and women experiences sexual arousal and climax in different ways as well. The capacity of have multiple orgasms is one such site of supposed difference. Here is a little more about whether men can have multiple orgasms and if so, how.
What are multiple orgasms?
"Multiple orgasms" refers to orgasms that occur rapidly, one after the other, within half a minute to a minute apart. Each orgasm in a multiple session though doesn't have to be earth shattering – individuals can experience it as simply waves of pleasure, welling up one after another. The main thing is that since orgasm themselves are highly individual in nature, multiple orgasms too tend differ widely in those who experience it.
How do men and women differ in this regard?
Much has been said about the difference in the amount of time it takes for men and women to reach an orgasm – and in some popular culture it has even served the butt of many jokes. However the difference is indeed a real one. Men may be able to reach orgasms after only two to three minutes of real stimulation while for women it may take anything from twenty to thirty minutes of stimulation to climax sexually. On the other hand, an orgasm for men is a quickly over, lasting around ten to thirteen seconds. Women however may continue to experience the waves of a sexual climax till sixty seconds. Also for men, orgasm is over once they ejaculate but women can experience multiple orgasms or repeated orgasms with them coming minutes apart of in quick succession. When women have multiple orgasms, they "bounce" back and forth from high arousal to orgasm until they feel they want to stop. This can happen when they are alone or with another, and with or without a vibrator.
The reason why men in general do not have multiple orgasms is because they have a longer refractory period, in other words, the reloading phase during which men are unlikely to become erect or ejaculate again. The entire process is still not completely understood by scientists, it appears to be influenced by hormones, neurotransmitters, and nerve excitability. On the other hand, when women do orgasm they remain on a plateau stage, which means they stay aroused even after an orgasm. Once a woman experiences an orgasm, she is likely to be able to achieve another if she keeps stimulating her genitals after, though your clitoris may be too sensitive, use other indirect stimulation on your vagina, labia, anus or breasts/nipples.
Having said that, it is not necessary that all women experience multiple orgasms. Physiologically, women can be aroused and can orgasm again and again. Often women don't have more than one orgasm because once a woman has an orgasm, stimulation usually stops. Many women, however, feel satisfied with one; others are eager for more.
How can men get it?
Even though women seem to be naturally equipped to experience multiple orgasms, some men also can orgasm in quick succession. They experience the high peaks of orgasm, while holding back their ejaculation. Similar to women, men can "bounce" between high plateau and orgasm, and again, back to high plateau. But this is almost always a practiced technique in men. All men reach "ejaculatory inevitability" during the process of sexual arousal, the point of no return, in which they are going to have an orgasm no matter what. But if the person is very self-aware and attuned to his level of arousal, he can bring himself close to that point and experience some of the pleasurable involuntary contractions of orgasm without fully climaxing - as long as he doesn't ejaculate. These orgasmic contractions can occur over and over, almost continuously, until he ejaculates.
Some techniques for men to have multiple orgasms
Almost all techniques for prolonging orgasmic pleasure in men involve learning to control the pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle which is responsible for semen ejaculating from the penis. It's the tiny muscle located directly behind the testicles and is also the same muscle that a man uses to control the flow of urine. One of the ways to learn to control the PC muscle is to practice Kegel exercises; though this is more commonly known to help women to stay tight, they can also help men to control their ejaculation.
Stop and Start method
Yet another way to tune the male body to multiple orgasms is to learn the ‘stop and start’ method. This technique is comprised of three phases: First, the guy needs to become excited sexually with the help of a partner or by masturbating. Then, at the point before reaching his climax, he needs to stop and hold back. Once he is calm and in command of his emotions, the process is repeated again. The method involves learning to understand when one is approaching orgasm, and training the body to control timing to prevent immediate ejaculation. This technique is further aided by learn inhaling and exhaling techniques which equips the body to relax on command.
Squeeze and ease technique
The squeeze and ease technique is one of the main natural ways to control premature ejaculation. But it can be just as effectively used for prolonging orgasmic pleasure in men. During foreplay, the guy can ask his partner to squeeze the end of his penis, at the point where the head or glans joins the shaft. After the squeeze is released, they need to wait 20 to 30 seconds, and then continue with foreplay. Ideally the partner should caress and stroke the entire genital territory. This includes the glans, the shaft, the testicles, the perineum and the rim of the anus. Becoming aware how each part works during sexual activity, is the major focus and intent of this approach. Upon reaching the point of orgasm, the partner needs to squeeze the guy’s penis again until the urge to ejaculate is gone. Like in the earlier technique, maintaining the balance between withholding ejaculations and maintaining erection is the key to prolonging orgasmic pleasure here as well.
The kind of orgasm where a man withholds ejaculation was taught by older women to younger men in the Oneida Community1, an experimental community in upstate New York during the 1800s. Some of the sexual practices of this community was supposedly based on Karezza, an the Eastern sexual philosophy, and it was not only for pleasure, but also as a way of teaching men a form of birth control – in this case, absence of ejaculation meant impossibility of conception. An alternate form of holding back and experiencing repeated waves of sexual pleasure in men is also inscribed in ancient Eastern sexual philosophies, such as tantric sex in which men learn to experience the sensation of orgasm repeatedly without ejaculating.
However certain reproductive health experts warn that some men who practice climaxing without ejaculating report dissipation in erectile quality, or even a total loss of erection. On the whole though this condition is temporary and only occurs while trying this technique.
Even if men are not worried about side effects of withholding ejaculation, neither tantric sex nor Karezza should be practiced as goal-oriented procedures – according to these, it is a fallacy to think that the only purpose of a sexual encounter is orgasm. Instead such sexual practices are proof that through slow and focused lovemaking, pleasure and orgasms increase and deepen for both partners, ultimately moving individuals toward spiritual enlightenment.
In the end, the main purpose of any sexual practice should be to enhance mutual sexual pleasure. If setting sexual performance goals – like achieving multiple orgasms – only result in adding pressure, then the very purpose of the experience is defeated. Thus whether you or your partner want to enrich a sexual experience with multiple orgasms, talk to each other first, discuss your sexual likes and dislikes and then explore ways and means which can heighten mutual pleasure as well as understanding.