Dating an FBI Agent

The popular representation of a Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent as a tough as nails officer with a vulnerable side and a mysterious past are highly conducive to romance. Then the gun and the badge do their bit of raising the sex-appeal of the wearer. However dating an FBI agent in real life may involve an entirely set of challenges and attractions.

Know the terms

The FBI is an agency of the United States Department of Justice that serves as both a federal criminal investigative body and an internal intelligence agency. Unlike regular cops which form part of local police departments, FBI agents are recruited and trained by a federal agency. Apart from this difference, the FBI has investigative jurisdiction over violations of more than two hundred categories of federal crime. Also FBI agents are bound by stricter security requirements in their professional as well as social lives. For all these reasons becoming an FBI agent is much more challenging and consequently more rewarding, both in terms of professional satisfaction and monetary return. Apart from agents, FBI also includes support professionals like intelligence analysts, and those possessing specialized skills in information technology, management, engineering, accounting, electronics, human resources, administration, public affairs, and international relations.

The positive aspects

Special Law enforcement officials are trusted with perhaps one of the most important jobs of the civilized world – keeping the neighborhood and country safe. Thus it is a matter of great pride to be dating an FBI agent. Apart from the challenge of fighting crime and terrorism and saving lives by preventing attacks from ever happening, these people are lucky to partake of the professional stimulation that comes with  thinking, analyzing, and solving complex cases. As his/her partner thus you are not only sure to feel warm and safe with a person who you know is trained to take on the biggest criminals but you will even get to enjoy the respect from people who appreciate the important though difficult job an agent has. And though an FBI agent may not get to sport an attractive uniform as part of their daily lives, nevertheless there is the glamour of the badge and the gun apart from being involved in protecting the interest of the country.

Respect his/her need for privacy

The single most important thing you have to keep in mind while dating an FBI agent is the need for privacy. Your partner may not be able to discuss all aspects of his/her work with you since a good deal of them may have to with security issues. So avoid asking a lot of questions which he/she may be uncomfortable answering. Even if you are casually dating this man or woman, mentally be prepared to have your background and profile being checked out by your partner or his/her department. Because of the sensitive nature of their jobs,  it is not only important for an agent to be above board him/herself, but even those associated with him/her may need a degree of security clearance. In fact during recruitment, an applicant to the bureau needs to pass through rigorous secret clearance from the FBI which involves a full background investigation and  includes a polygraph exam, a drug urinalysis test, credit and record checks, and extensive interviews with family, friends, colleagues and so on. So if you are uncomfortable for this kind of scrutiny into your own life or dislike the prospect of having to answer umpteen questions about your background, maybe you should reconsider the idea of dating an FBI agent.

Be flexible

The very nature of the job which makes law enforcement an object of public respect also makes it difficult and unpredictable. FBI agents have to be ready to take on a suspect anytime and anyplace. Different kinds of agents may have different work schedules. Some may be lucky to have nine-to-five working hours, while someone on a trail may be out for several weeks together. Even if your partner has a regular schedule, during an emergency or a special situation, be prepared to have your boy/girlfriend called in to report. Also on occasions like Christmas and Thanksgiving or birthdays and anniversaries which couples usually spend together, it may not be possible for your partner to be with you. He/she may out cracking a case or asked to take place of another agent so that he/she can get to spend a special occasion with their families. All this is part of the job which has no water-tight boundaries on job responsibilities and schedules. On those occasions when your partner is off-duty, you may be tempted to bond with him/her through conversation. While this is normal, be prepared for times when your partner may be worried about a case and is likely to tune out even while you are talking. At the same time though let your partner know that you are there for them should they need your support for some reason. It could be very difficult to be able to talk about certain topics for your partner, so on the few occasions when they do open up be there to listen to
everything they have to say. 

Be independent

Since you cannot depend upon your partner to give you company on all evenings, you need to be responsible for your own socializing. Keep a network of friends and co-workers with whom you can go shopping on a weekend or hang out at a café. Better still develop a few interests which will help you to fill time when your partner is away on duty. In fact it is even more important for you to become self-dependent if you are planning to live with your agent partner. He/she will rarely have enough time to help out with grocery-shopping or running errands. Also be open to socializing with other agents’ families – you will not only get a peek of the strong support network formed in this community but also know where to look for company and help when you need it.

Be strong mentally

However the most important survival skill when dating an FBI agent would be your mental strength. It is no secret that agents have to deal with some of the most dangerous people on a daily basis. This together with the fact that guns, knives and bombs are some of the most common things they handle everyday is enough to make any other professional go white with fear. And yet if you seriously want to date someone from the FBI, you have to develop a tough skin. You may hear stories that are going to be difficult to listen to, but accept the fact that danger is a part of your partner’s job. It is natural for you to be worried for your beloved, but dwelling on that alone is not going to change anything that is going to happen on duty. Instead your partner needs to know that you support him/her and needs to be able to do his job correctly – which is not possible if you keep obsessing about his/her safety and call him/her up twenty times a day.