You may have noticed recently how all your buddies do the vanishing act on weekends. Could it be that they have their own girlfriends to go out with while you are left twiddling your thumb and wondering who to call? If so, you needn’t worry any more ‘cause here are ten sure shot ways to get a girlfriend and a life as well.
Spruce up your appearance
This is the first step you need to take if you want to catch the attention of a girl and hold it. Making yourself presentable goes beyond buying a new jacket or brushing your shoes. It involves the basics of personal grooming and the cultivation of a simple yet unique personal style. A well-groomed and smartly turned out man is one of the few things that a girl can never resist.
Spread the word
Letting close friends and family know that you are looking for a partner is usually an effective way of landing a girlfriend. Mix with friends who are married or in long-term relationships since their wives/girlfriends may have a couple of single pals also on the lookout for a nice guy. Meeting a girl through mutual contacts not only lets you avoid the awkwardness of an exclusive encounter but also ensures that you both have something in common or are suited to each other in some way.
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Introduce new blood
It is difficult to meet somebody new if your entire social circle consists of just three single co-workers or the same four guys with whom you hang out at the bar. Rather find ways of changing the social scene so that you can come across new people. An excellent idea is to organize a Sunday pot luck lunch and ask each of the regulars in your group to bring along a new guest. At the same time, see if you can accompany a cousin, sibling or a friend to parties at their neighborhoods and offices, wherever you may not have frequented till now. Even getting in touch with friends from school or those to whom you haven’t spoken for years may help in widening your social circle and who knows may even bring you across someone you would like to know better.
A part time jbo or hobby
Take up a part-time job or hobby which will again bring you in touch with a wide variety of people. While you may have exhausted all the possibilities of the office-gym-home routine, a twice-a-week hobby class or a part-time position at the university library is sure to open up a far more varied group of people to your acquaintance. And before long you may find yourself going over the finer points of Thai cuisine or Impressionist painting with a particularly attractive co-enthusiast.
Cafes and pubs
Cafes and pubs have been the traditional hanging out places for most single of a town. If you have already done the routine without success, don’t lose heart. Perhaps you need to tweak the timing of your regular latte - like make it early evenings when the young college crowd frequents the cafes instead of late evening when they are more likely to head home to study. Also explore other cafes in your city instead of the ones nearest to your office or apartment. Who knows you might get lucky elsewhere!
Frequent places of culture, sports or other niche areas of interest
Art galleries and bookstores can make wonderful places to browse through, especially on a sunny weekend when you don’t have much else to do. And these are also places where you are most likely to bump into people who, like you, are lovers or art or culture. The major downside of this course of action is that these niche venues are frequented only by a small fraction of people, many of whom may not be single or looking for love after all. And while some women do enjoy sports, they are unlikely to come on their own for matches. In any case, you can always take a chance and if you do, you can be sure of an afternoon well-spent, whether pottering by yourself or discussing your favorite painters/players with a like-minded guest. And finally don’t forget to check listings, classifieds or forums in your city advertising events and activities that are likely to attract people with similar interests and passions.
The internet is the place to be if you are looking for love or even a casual date. These days there are any number of online dating sites which will not only bring you in touch with thousands of potential partners but in many cases even match you through personality tests to those who are most likely to be compatible with you. Also you can choose from casual dating sites like FriendFinder.com to those like eHarmony.com which are geared towards lasting relationships. Other than these are sites catering to particular professions, ethnicities, religions and even physical types.
Join social networking sites
Yet another aspect of the internet which can help you to find a partner is the world of the social networking sites. Facebook, Orkut, MySpace, Twitter are all vast online communities of friends and contacts where you can hope to come across a person who will not only like both your profile but also your areas of interests and pursuits. But be careful since this may act as a double-edged weapon too and a potential girlfriend may well be put off by your photos at a drinking binge or at a strip-club.
Brush up your conversational skills
A conversation is one of the ways every girl will size you up on the first date. So when you do get a chance to speak to a girl, don’t end up enumerating your successes or discussing your mother’s cat. Use a conversation as a way of knowing your partner but remember to stick to casual, common and impersonal topics. Be an active listener but also give your feedback when required. Above all, be considerate, polite and interested if you want to land up a second date with this girl.
Finally be comfortable with who you are
If you try too hard or get tensed up, women will instinctively pick up your desperation and draw back. Rather be playful and fun to hang around with. In fact while dating, you could even take a couple of “touch risks” like brushing your arms against your partner’s shoulder or lightly holding her waist as you escort her to the dining table. Don’t worry about coming on too strong – if a woman doesn’t like it she will surely let you know. On the other hand, initiating a casual touch may send the signal that you find a woman attractive and that you are reasonably confident of your own charms – just the clues a woman needs to set her seal of approval on a man.