Dating for shy people can very often be an intimidating experience since romantic relationships – especially new ones – involve reaching out to others. For someone who is an introvert, the whole business of getting out of the comfort zone and making the first move can be quite unnerving, if not downright frightening. So if you are a naturally shy woman but open to dating, here are a few ways to meet the eligible singles.
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Take up a new hobby
Shy people often tend to stick to interests which are private in nature and do not require any teamwork or even a partner to pursue. As such, things like find stamp-collecting or gardening often figure as the most preferred leisure activities among shy men and women. While there is nothing wrong in doing things alone, you also need to explore interests which allow you to do things with other people. How about joining a bowling league where you can play as part of a team or even a book club where members meet regularly to have book readings or discuss reviews. Again if you have a bent for music, consider signing up for a dance class. Such hobbies are not only enjoyable in themselves but great for bringing people from various backgrounds and professions together. Best of all a common hobby will automatically offer itself as a topic for interesting conversation so you need not start sweating at the prospect of making small talk with a potential date. If you do happen to meet attractive men at your book club it is only natural for you to ask his opinion on the latest favorite in Oprah’s selection and perhaps even discuss the finer points of the plot over a latte.
People who are introverts end up having an extremely tight social circle, comprising of perhaps a couple of old friends and the same number of people from work. If the same applies to you, make an effort to join activities which will bring you in contact with a wider variety of people. For instance if you know of a neighbor organizing a Christmas cookie party for children, offer to bake batch of the peanut cookies you are famous for or help along with the shopping. This will not force you to open conversation with people from your neighborhood but at the same time, it will help you to be around people so that if you see someone you like, you can approach him. Again if your co-workers are planning a picnic during the holiday season, don’t automatically say ‘no’ since you know all your colleagues. Even if there are going to be mostly familiar faces, consider the fact that they might bring along guests and friends; all this could turn an office picnic into a good opportunity of meeting new people as well.
Get involved in volunteer work
If you have difficulty in approaching strangers, how about getting involved with a cause close to your heart? Look for opportunities in your town or city where you can offer your services to help with your favorite cause. If you are an animal lover, considering volunteering at the local animal shelter for strays or abandoned pets. Maybe you could also help out at the community animal clinic and thus find a way to chat up the nice-looking vet there. On the other hand, if books are all that you are interested in, how about offering to catalogue and file the possessions of your community library? This way you will not only spend your time doing something you like but also open up yourself to meeting others, for instance the friendly assistant librarian or a couple of college students who may have come down to do a bit of reference work.
Go out more often
While it is understandable for a shy person to want to remain within her comfort zone, if you are to enlarge your social circle, sooner or later you will have to be more adventurous. There are only so many single guys you can meet at a language class or in your neighborhood gym. If you do want to have a more active dating life, you need to try out venues and activities beyond the pale of the familiar. For instance decide to frequent electronics fairs or the gadget section of a supermarket where there are likely to be several guys checking out the products on display. Fiddle with a few things and then if a good-looking fella offers to help you out, tell him that you are looking for a car DVD. Or you could join a hiking group during a spell of good weather and even if you are not much of an outdoor person, you may end up meeting several singles. Again you may have never got onto a stage in your life, but just this once be bold and sign up for a theater workshop. Besides the fact that you will get to come across lots of new faces, who knows you may even discover a hitherto-unknown talent for acting in yourself.
Sign up with a dating site
Dating websites are a godsend for people who are naturally shy about meeting people in the actual world. Unlike real-life situations, here you have all the time you need to compose a dating profile or an email when reaching out to potential partners. More than that you can get over with the preliminaries of an introduction and get to know of each other’s interests online and only then decide whether you want to meet the person in real life. However be sure to practice all guidelines of online dating safety; for instance never give out your personal details like cell phone number, residential address and credit card number. Also when you meet a person in real life, ensure that it is at a public location and during reasonable hours.
You win some, you lose some
Fear of failure is the main reason why shy people find it difficult to date. But once you learn to take failure in your stride, things will become much easier. Despite your best attempts to meet men, you may find that some of them are unimpressed by you, some already have girlfriends, some will be patronizing while some will genuinely like you. However you must understand that just because one guy is unable to see what you have to offer in a dating relationship, doesn’t mean that others won’t. At the same time, also be wary of wearing you heart on the sleeve. Keep in mind that you are here to meet and date men and that you are perfectly entitled to have an active dating life. Just because someone is the first to be nice to you doesn’t mean that you need to settle down into an exclusive relationship with him. This is something that shy women are often vulnerable to and you need to be completely sure about your priorities before you decide to commit yourself to any single person.