10 Things Women are Insecure About When Dating


The dating game in all honesty is equally nerve-racking for both sexes. But what with popular, media-fed perceptions about the perfect female dating partner, women are in danger of succumbing to many kinds of insecurities, some real and some perceived. So whether you like the girl you are dating and want to make her comfortable or you want to be aware in general, here are the ten most common things women are insecure about when dating.

Her looks

There is so much advice floating about on how to look irresistible to male partners when dating that a woman is bound to worry about her appearance, even if she is pretty and attractive. She will worry about being too thin. Or not being thin enough. She will agonize over her height, skin, hair and the microscopic spot on her inner calf which she fears is enough to put off a prospective partner. Though many women are far more aware of the dangers of artificial representations of feminine form today, it will take a several kind words and sincere compliments on your part to put her at ease.

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Whether you will call her

Post-first date-phone calls are the stuff of female nightmares; even if a first date has gone off well, a woman is likely to obsess whether her partner will call up the next day or the day after. This is because according to contemporary dating convention, the absence of a call after the first date is construed as evidence of disinterest. So if you have promised your date that you will call her on a particular day, keep your word. On the other hand if she doesn’t strike you as your type, don’t make any promises about calling.


Whether you are going to ask her out again

It seems that there is no way a woman can put her poor mind at ease. Even if she receives a call from her partner after the first date, she is likely to fret over whether it was just a courtesy call or if he is interested in asking her out again. A guy on the other hand does not want to appear too eager for a second date, even if he liked what he saw on the first. This unfortunately only serves to increase her worry. So be a gentleman and spare her the agonizing wait – suggest another meeting if you like her and if you don’t, be polite but point out a busy schedule for the week ahead.

Whether you are using her

One of the biggest dating insecurities a woman suffers from is whether you are dating her just to get her into your bed. Women put a lot more store by emotional connections and most are distressed at the idea of being used merely as a sex partner. Instead women want to feel loved and cherished in the beginning of a dating relationship so that physical intimacy when it happens is seen as a natural progression and not merely the scratching of an itch.

Her intelligence

Traditionally women were not required to make themselves appear as thinking creatures in order to get the attention of a man. Indeed men found intelligent women even intimidating and in turn became insecure. However today in the age of female super-achievers, it is not unthinkable for your girlfriend to worry about whether she is smart enough for you. Intellectual compatibility is one of the things that men are increasingly looking for in their relationships and she might fret about not coming up to your mark.

Her job

This is another of the insecurities which are more likely to saddle women of today than it did their grandmothers. Particularly if your ex was a hot-shot lawyer or a cardiologist, your present date is sure to worry that her work is not glamorous or serious enough to attract your interest. Here you can assure her by pointing out that all that matters is she is happy and fulfilled in her work.

Whether you are a player

When is the time to begin dating someone exclusively is a question that bothers both men and women. And if you have not broached the topic with your date already, it is likely that she is insecure about you being a player and dating several women at the same time. While it is perfectly acceptable for you to see other women if you are dating casually, make sure that you are honest about it. If she asks you about it, don’t lie but on the other hand you need not make it a topic for serious conversation. However if you are sexually involved with your partner and things seem to be taking a serious turn, it is only fair to clarify any assumptions.

What her friends think of you

Women are deeply influenced by what their pals think about their possessions – whether it is a new dress, new wallpaper or a new boyfriend. This is part of the reason why girls seem so edgy when introducing their partners to their friends. While a true friend’s feedback could make a woman aware of any ‘red flags’ in the relationship, to some extent worries about a pal’s reaction are also about female competitiveness.

What your family thinks of her

Insecurity about approval from a boyfriend’s parents is likely to figure when a relationship is getting serious. Your girlfriend may fret about being accepted by your family or not being good enough to impress your mom. If you notice your date suffering from any such pangs, set her at ease by assuring her of your love and support.

Whether you are interested in her

This holds true for practically every stage of your dating relationship. In the beginning, your girlfriend may be worried about not being interesting enough to wrangle a second or third date whereas after some time she may be insecure about your waning interest in her. The best way to nip such worries in the bud is to lavish lots of TLC on your woman and assure that she will always be special to you.