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Cougar Dating - How to Charm and Date Older Women
In a WebMD article, it is reported that an AARP poll in 2003 showed that 20% of older women prefer younger men and that many younger men prefer older women. The word "older" for the purpose of the study is defined as a 10-year age difference. Women state they were attracted to younger men because of the spontaneity and adventurous lifestyle. Men preferred older women because of their intelligence, stable careers, and bedroom expertise. Many older women are more comfortable in bed than younger women. They are less inhibited and more adventuresome. No matter the reason, age difference relationships are becoming more popular and more accepted in today's society.
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So you have your eye on an older woman. How do you get her to notice you? Older women aren't much different than younger women. They want security and compassion in relationships. Excitement and tenderness in bed. Yep, you have all that. So how do you convince her to go out with you? You have to know who she is and respect her for it. Learn what her likes and dislikes are. Research the issues that prevailed during her high school years, what songs were popular, what shows were on television, what movies played at the theater. Find out what things she is set in stone about. Is she willing to try different shampoos, soaps, sexual positions? All of this will help you relate to her life.
Maturity is the first step. An older woman does not like and cannot stand, immature attitudes. Let's stop here for a second. There are different aspects of maturity and they have nothing to do with age. I've known a few 20-year-old guys that were more mature than some 40-year-old men. It is OK to be silly and humorous. It is fine to like pop rock, dippin' sticks, and comic books. A women appreciates hilarious jokes and goofiness. What she won't put up with is childish game playing. Leave the "I told you so" comments for your friends. Don't beg for confirmation of her feelings towards you. Above all else, never, ever use the line, "If you loved me you would...". Showing maturity will surely catch her eye, and immaturity will just as quickly turn her off.
Listen to music of her generation and watch old television shows and movies so you two can relate to the same media. There is nothing worse than being out with some of her friends and a conversation about a television show arises and it ends in you saying that you've never heard of that show. It will embarrass her, bring attention to the age difference, and even worse, it will remind her of how old she is. A woman doesn't like to be reminded of her age. Being familiar with aspects of her life will surely charm her and put you on mutual ground.
After you have gotten to know her a little bit and are confident about her likes and dislikes, it is time to pop the question. No, not THAT question! It's time to invite her to dinner. Don't be afraid to ask her out. This step alone exhibits a higher maturity than a lot of men have. Most women will agree to going out for coffee or meeting for lunch a lot quicker than a fancy dinner. The informal atmosphere of a coffee shop is not as threatening as a five-star restaurant. After you have spent time with her in a laid-back setting and you are certain there is chemistry, then you can invite her to that special dinner.
In order for any relationship to work, there has to be mutual chemistry. Chemistry can manifest as a physical chemistry, a bonding chemistry or both. Physical chemistry is when two people are crazy about each other in a physical sense. During the romantic phase of a relationship, the brain releases chemicals known as phenyl ethylamine and dopamine, which causes that heady in-love feeling. The lovers' bodies migrate towards one another. They cannot stop touching, and the sex is fabulous. The bonding chemistry is the feeling two people get over time. Endorphins are released in the brain, causing a sedating effect. Two people with the bonding chemistry feel right and comfortable with each other. They respect each other and are committed to commitment. Many times, the bonding comes before the physical. When it does, it makes for a fabulous relationship.
Once you have had quality time together and have formed a bond, you will want to keep her. One easy way to hold on to that perfect older woman is to show respect. If she doesn't like fast driving, slow down. If she wants to eat vegetarian, don't take her to a steak joint. Learn about her morals and values and respect them. This doesn't mean you have to change or agree with everything she says, just do not berate her for her likes and beliefs. Don't forget to woo her by opening doors and holding the umbrella. Little courtesies make lasting impressions.
An older women has been doing things the same way for many years. She knows what works and what doesn't work. She may not like to change deodorants or lotions or other personal care items. If she wants to leave some things at your place, agree and do not tease her about it. Skin care is taken very seriously by some women and she may feel slighted if you joke or make fun of her preference for a certain body wash, hair conditioner or razor brand.
It takes a lot of work for any relationship, and the older-younger affair is no exception. Respect and maturity are two of the most important things to remember when trying to win the heart of someone. An older woman is no different than any other woman when it comes to the traits they want in a man. The younger man just has to try a little harder with the older woman.